Plummer Cobb is a writer and communications consultant based in Arlington, Texas.

Today's Me

When I woke up this morning, I was 10 inches tall.

This sort of thing happens to me from time to time.

(Usually, I'm 5'9". Sometimes a little taller, sometimes a little shorter. One day, I was ten feet tall. My back hurt for a week after that.)

Getting out of bed isn't too much of a challenge, but I do have to work for it. I climb down my bed stand using the drawer handles as foot holds, jump over to a step stool, then hop down each step to the floor.

Clothes are an issue. Nobody wants to see a 10-inch-tall naked man scurrying around.

Okay, really, lots of people would probably want to see a 10-inch-tall naked man. For the novelty. That doesn’t mean I want to be that guy.

I patch together something of the toga variety (a common approach, being the most adaptable, when nothing else will fit) and climb to my mobile phone to call Hank, one of my coworkers.

“Need a little help here, Hank,” I say into the receiver. I explain today’s circumstances. He says he’ll pick me up on his way.

On our commute to work, he tells me about his current troubles with his ex-wife. I listen and don’t offer much advice because really, advice isn’t why Hank is telling me this. He feels better after talking about it.

At work, we hit a snag. Something my team changed yesterday is going screwy and needs to be debugged, and it’s hard as hell to write code when you need your whole hand for a keystroke. And anything involving shift, control, command, or whatever? Forget about it.

We come up with a workaround using a voice to text program, and it’s still pretty clunky but it lets me get at least enough of my work done that I won’t be terribly behind tomorrow, depending on my condition when I wake up then.

At the end of the day, Hank drops me off. Before that, he offers to take me out for a beer because, ya know, I could get pretty lit off of what would otherwise amount to a taste of his pint. I decline, though. Being 10 inches tall takes more out of a guy than you might expect. I need to get some sleep. I probably have a big day tomorrow. 

Or maybe another small one. I won’t know until morning.

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