Hi, E-mail. Or do you prefer just email? I forget how you’re using capitals and hyphens these days. No, it’s really okay, you can write it however you like. You’ve earned the right to reinvent yourself. Speaking of which…
We need to talk about where our relationship is heading. A lot of people are saying it’s time for you to go. Some say you’re on your way out. I’m not sure what I think about that.
We’ve come such a long way. Remember when we met in college? All that new relationship energy, the late night rendezvous, the hours we hung out together just talking about whatever. It was tough when I could only see you in the university computer lab, but that just made it more exciting.
And look at where we are now, E-mail? I can see you anytime, day or night, at home, at work, or on the road (which has been a source of tension between us, but that’s a different discussion entirely).
You’ve been so patient as I’ve gone through my “experimental” phases and tried to do without you, stepping out with social media, messaging apps, and others. You just waited, knowing I’d come back. And I did. The funny thing is, the first thing most of the others asked about when I met them? You. Because without you, who am I?
Which brings me to my question, E-mail: Where do we go from here?
I’ve sure you’ve heard what they’re saying about you behind your back. Will you really go away? And if so, will your replacement just bring a whole new set of difficulties? E-mail, I suspect the reports of your impending demise are exaggerated. You’ll find a way to stick around. You always do.
Of course, you know I’ll always have commitment issues — I’ve got a wandering eye for whatever is shiny and new. In fact, earlier today, I met a sexy young thing promising to replace you. Naturally, I’m curious, so I’m signing up right now, just for a trial.
But first I’ll need to enter my email address.